I’ve never had a stronger urge to shoplift!
I was invited by a friend (who had a real invitation) as her +1 to attend the Gala Grand Re-Opening Celebration of the so-called “Social” Safeway on Wisconsin Avenue in Upper Georgetown this past Wednesday night. So, in other words, I didn’t crash.
Unfamiliar legitimacy, along with blurred boundaries: They were giving us free food and drink everywhere, always in close proximity to impeccably stocked shelves of groceries. “Here’s some free chocolate-covered potato chips, sir.” So, can I have this 1-lb bag of fine Arabica coffee, too? How about this bottle of wine? Very confusing to my sense of right and wrong, not to mention my meager supply of party etiquette.
The photos (and captions) below tell the rest of the story…
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- Cashed bottles of Cristal. I had some. They also had Dom Perignon but there was a line for that, and I DO NOT stand in lines!
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- Typical incongruous vignette from the party in a grocery store. They had valet parking, a red carpet and everything.
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- (L to R) Your reporter, Charese, Michelle
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- So sensual.
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- The honorarily honorable Eleanor Holmes Norton, our non-voting member of Congress here in the District. She was literally talking trash in her remarks. I was like "Gurrrrl!"
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- No Georgetown grocery store can open without being blessed by a priest.
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- TO GROCERIES!
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- Ina Garten works here. In one of her books she talks about going to the "Social" Safeway in the '70s when she lived in D.C. Now she's back to her roots! Working at the sushi bar in the Safeway's.
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- Chris, Charese, Michelle hanging out in the wine humidor or whatever you call them. They sell $200 bottles of wine at this Safeway! The bums that frequent the "Sandinista" Safeway where I shop would make quick work of that shit.
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- I wish all people always dressed up to go to the grocery store anymore. Like in the old days.
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- Nothing goes with wine like toilet paper! Lots of it.
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- DJ in aisle 4.
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- God helps those who help themselves.
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- Bringing the house down a little bit.
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- The whole place was too bright. The drop ceilings were gauche. And we were, of course, under surveillance!
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- They did have pretty nice produce, as Michelle demonstrates.
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- The store will employ 300 people, I heard. It's open 24/7. They can't keep things like this from happening when they're open 24 hours a day...
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- So much sausage! At 10 PM the store opened for business. So some of the dressed-up partygoers grabbed shopping carts and started shoppin'.
Is this really a thing? And isn’t Cristal better than Dom? I’m soooo jealous! You should’ve told me so I could crash!
The glow from the pastry case is really quite flattering.